A hero

    Last night at Conundrum Jazz Sessions, we were chatting with Glynis the bass player and, like you do, asked how he's been. And he said he had just had a stroke and was in fact just out of the hospital. We sympathized and marveled that he seemed to be doing so well and asked him to tell the story. He said he was driving and he just passed out. His 8-year-old son reached his foot across and hit the brake to stop the car, then got Glynis' cell phone out and called 9-1-1. I gotta say, that kid is my absolute hero. And Glynis', too, no doubt.
    Glynis is only 53. He had spent the last decade or so in Japan and only came back because they were burning radioactive waste in Tokyo and handing out dosimeters. He's from Detroit but his wife is from here. He had thankfully little lasting effects from the stroke, though at the moment his right thumb is dead. But it's early days yet; hopefully function will return fully. But if he hadn't told us, we never would have guessed or noticed. It didn't affect his playing an iota. Best wishes to Glynis, and I hope to meet the 8-year-old hero one day.

Humidifier

    No doubt I complained about the exact same thing in the exact same words a year ago, but you would think that houses would have built-in humidifiers and dehumidifiers. (I mean BESIDES windows. Smart alecks.) The heat invariably dries the indoor air out, and one can't seem to drink enough water to keep up no matter how tolerant one is to running off to the bathroom every few minutes. It isn't any problem for me. Whenever I start getting shocked when trying to pet the kitty, I figure it's time to start running the humidifier and do so.
    However, for older folks, especially if their mobility is compromised, this can get to be a serious problem. Moreover, they tend to feel the cold more and so keep the thermostat set higher, thus making the air dry out even faster. Margaret just went to the emergency room the other day due to vertigo which cleared up when she received IV fluids. I don't know anything else you could call this but dehydration. Now I can get her a humidifier and then go over a few minutes early when I'm picking up Dad for dialysis and fill it up for her, and that would help. But it just seems that it would be so much more sensible to have automatic systems for this. Of course, one might risk Legionella, and maybe that's the reason why not. Still, it seems a shame.

Virtual page-turner

    A buddy sent me his novel to read with the idea that I might give him an enthusiastic review on Amazon. This won't be a problem; it's really good. Only fly in the ointment is that I want to call it a page-turner, but I'm reading a PDF file. Does that make it a virtual pageturner? An electronic pageturner? (A turner of electronic pages?) I'm stumped. Tried to google but google doesn't believe in synonyms (or possibly portmanteau words) but my memory came through: "compelling"! There's a good word. ("The narrative pull pulls" probably would not be adequate, but I like that one, too.)
    Speaking of novels, I wonder how far I could go with one where a Southern family speaks in murmurs and whispers about one family member, and a visitor, suspecting madness or perversion, finally asks what's wrong with the black sheep. "He's RATIONAL!" one old lady confides. Probably not very far.

Born to laugh at tornadoes

    A long time ago, nearly 30 years, Was (Not Was) put out a record called "Born To Laugh at Tornadoes." It passed neatly under my radar. I had their first record (which was eponymous), because I had found it for 50 cents or so in a discount store. (I passed over a Gang of Four record, and am still kicking myself. As a sort of punishment, I've still never heard them. Crazy, no?) I really liked that one, and when I eventually found BTLAT, I liked it even better.
    Thus I was very surprised to learn in those pre-Internet days that it had been just lambasted by critics. Reviled. Body slammed. I didn't understand it then and I still don't understand it now. The first record had been hook-heavy, Motown-like and highly commercial, only with weird quirky lyrics. The second one was exactly the same, only with guest artists. Most of them had heavy Detroit connections (Mitch Ryder, Doug Fieger) or might as well have (Mel Torme, Ozzie Osbourne). Apparently, having Mel Torme croon about a guy choking to death = selling out. I just can't see it.
    To me, it was all a big joke, a parody of a concept album. It was called "Born To Laugh at Tornadoes," FFS. (Still my favorite album title ever, by the way.) I still think it's a delightful record, if dark around the lyrics. If you can find it, get it. If not, look it up and find the songs on YouTube; most are there.
    Ironically, on their next record, they really did sell out, and very successfully. I don't know how the critics felt about that, but I know which way I'm betting. But on that one, the fellows came up with "Somewhere in America (There's a Street Named After My Dad)" by which they expiated all their sins in my book. Rather like Bob Dylan with "Hurricane."
    I appreciate that I sound like a guy writing jazz liner notes in the '60s and I should erect some categories for Was (Not Was), like Neo-Motown or Sardonic Funk. (Sardonic Funk would be a great band name, but wouldn't everything?) But the source of "fan" is still "fanatic"; if I sound like a fanatic, I guess I can live with that. (Also, it's a lot of fun having "Born to laugh at tornadoes" as a subject line.)

Don't bogart that smart phone

    On election night, we got together in a bar to bite our nails and watch returns. Some of the fellows were standing together around a smart phone, or maybe a tablet, checking no doubt on Nate Silver's last second projections. And I couldn't help but notice that they looked a lot like kids in the schoolyard back in the bad old days standing together surreptitiously sharing a cigarette. Or like fans at a rock show sharing a joint. We decided that smart phones are 21st century cigarettes. It's a gateway technology, isn't it? Or is that the iPod?

A bit alarmed

    Dad's sweetheart Margaret (who is also 91) has been sick lately and today was very sick. Her daughter has taken her to the hospital and Dad is on his own. I brought him breakfast from a restaurant, forgetting only the coffee (dang my lazy brain) and am on call otherwise. Hopefully everything resolves itself quickly, easily and happily, but between us William and I can keep an eye on him or at least an ear out for him. I need to contact some nursing homes just in case, but (there's that word again) hopefully nothing of the sort will be necessary.
    Haven't had any update as to Margaret's condition. Going on past experience, she may still be waiting to see a doctor. Anyway, hoping for the best, and we certainly accept all good wishes, warm thoughts, prayers, white light, or whatever you've got, really. People who know me can call, email or check Facebook for updates.

Most delighted update: Dad called to say that she just had vertigo, and it responded immediately to an IV. One assumes that she, like me, doesn't respond too well to electric heat. Anyway, she's on her way home or will be soon. Call it a win!

Vegetarianer

    I find as I get vegetarianer that I have considerably more energy and verve. I wish I could say that this is because of eating less meat, but I have the strong sense that it has more to do with taking my B vitamins, which I do whenever I'm having a vegan meal. Since I'm eating less meat the rest of the time, too, my B vitamin levels might easily be a little down. Since B & C are water-soluble, you can't overdose, so the more the merrier I figure.
    What I particularly notice is waking up before the alarm with a certain "Oh What a Beautiful Mornin'" ebullience. Granted, brain function is not at its best, but eventually the mind wakes up, too. So this might be a B vitamin thing. Or maybe this is how I REALLY feel about the switch from Daylight Savings to Standard time!