The Celiac Sprue: What It Do

    Now that nobody is reading this anymore, I can give a detailed description of everybody's favorite autoimmune disorder with no fear that there is anyone out there to be bored. Folks surfing in accidentally from Belarus: Hi! Please accept my apologies; there probably won't even be any iambic pentameter. You might like the skydiving piece from a week or so back, though.
    Celiac sprue, as mentioned, is an autoimmune disorder. Autoimmune disorders differ from allergies pretty markedly. In an allergy, if a trigger is introduced (say, pollen), your body attempts to attack the trigger but also might damage some of your own tissue. In an autoimmune disorder, if a trigger (say, gluten) is introduced, your body just attacks itself. It's like a country, under military attack, deciding for no particular reason to attack its own cities.
    Gluten is mostly found in wheat, but also barley, barley malt and rye. Oats are often cross-contaminated with gluten, but some celiacs are sensitive to even gluten-free oats. Corn gluten is a different substance and doesn't cause celiacs problems. The alert reader, though, will notice that that's a whole lot of foods and beverages to have to cut out. Yes, it sure is. But there are more and better substitutes coming out practically every day.
    What celiac disease does varies from individual to individual. Most experience severe pain, bloating and gas when they accidentally ingest gluten, and this can last from days to weeks. I am a lucky one, in that I have very little in the way of symptoms. On the other hand, it took me 45 years to notice that I'm celiac. It took 40 years for lactose intolerance to make itself obvious. (If you don't know what the symptoms of severe lactose intolerance are, I hope you never find out.) It took around 30 years for vitamin B12 symptoms (wandering pins-and-needles) to make themselves felt, though I just thought I had poor circulation.
    What does celiac disease do in the long run? Mostly you die from intestinal cancer. I try to remain upbeat and keep my sense of humor. Who knows? Maybe having mild symptoms means I'm at lower risk of painful death. I keep my fingers crossed.