Yet again with the 3d person exercises. This is a slice of my life from 2007; in this one I branch out from guys with four-letter names starting with J to masquerade as Tom instead.
JEOPARDY! fans know that the show (hereinafter called "the show" to avoid the all-caps and exclamation mark) picks its contestants in a number of ways. Most of the players come from Southern California, but there is also a traveling road show visiting all the nation's largest cities to test potential contestants. And there's an online test given more or less annually that helps find another bunch.
In late January 2007, Tom took the online test. It was a timed set of 50 questions-- just questions, no clues to which you have to supply the question as on the show. Tom was sure of at least 40 and probably 45 of his answers and was able to get through the entire test. Thus he felt at least borderline confident about his chances, but he still had to sweat it out. The website indicated that it would be at least six weeks until results would be available. As it turned out, it was two months.
The news arriving in Tom's Inbox was good. Another two months later, Tom would have to drive to Atlanta from his hometown in Columbia for tryouts. He purchased a World Almanac and a blue blazer and started studying. In May, Tom made the drive to Atlanta one evening. His girlfriend, a wizard at online travel sites, had gotten him an inexpensive room in a very fine hotel downtown.
The next morning at 9 a.m., the audition kicked off. It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys, though there was a fair bit of administrative type stuff to get through first. The application was about as extensive as a job application and Tom, not expecting this, hadn't brought a resume or any other background information. He did the best he could. The contestant co-ordinators also took a Polaroid of each participant. As Tom looked like a doughy long-haired gargoyle at this time, he wasn't much encouraged by this, either. But then the fun began.
The group was let into a makeshift studio. Sadly, it was wholly Trebek-free, but this didn't dilute anyone's enjoyment. First, there was another timed 50-question test, this one using pen and paper. Then, while these tests were being marked, they got to play a little JEOPARDY! The players were mainly instructed to relax but speak up. First, the fellow playing the host (the contestant co-ordinator) called out clues and aspirants competed for the home computer version of the game. Tom didn't win, but didn't mind.
Then, participants came to the front in groups of three and played a short game (complete with clickers). After each short set of answers and questions, the contestant co-ordinator played Alex Trebek to ask about themselves and what they would do with any money they won. Tom resisted the temptation to say that he would use it to overthrow the legitimate government like the oil companies do.
The staff let them know that the show would get in touch if any of them were selected as contestants. They pointed out that although the players are responsible for their own travel to LA, all prizes are cash so the worst case scenario would be to win $1,000, which ought to cover travel expenses easily. And if one of them happened to win enough games to carry over into another week, Sony would fly them roundtrip from LA to home and back for the next week's shows. The staff also let them know that they wouldn't hear further from the show unless they were selected, and that there were at least 1,000 people in a contestant pool with only 400 contestants needed.
Never so hearing, Tom could not say for sure whether he passed the audition. But he will always believe that he did. And he found a new Ethiopian restaurant right by I85 to celebrate in. The whole audition took only a couple of hours, and left time for an awesome lunch. A great day!
Tomorrow: the same story in the style of Hunter S. Thompson! OK, maybe not.
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