Schadenfreude

    Schadenfreude or Fahrvergnügen or some damn thing never works for me. This is odd for somebody who has claimed for ten years or more to be powered by bitterness and envy, but when it comes down to it, I just feel sorry for other people who fuck up even bigger than I do. Granted, it would be difficult to make worse life choices than I have; once you eliminate fictitious characters like Romeo and Juliet, the field is pretty small. But they're out there, and I only feel regret on their behalf. There you are: I even suck at bitterness and envy. If wishes were horses, I'd have made a million on JEOPARDY! and we wouldn't be having this conversation.