Old-time radio

    As I may have mentioned, I am a major fan of old-time radio, great stuff like "Escape" and "Suspense" and slightly less great stuff like "Inner Sanctum Mysteries." But I think my greatest fandom is for stuff that's really terrible, like "Dark Fantasy." It was a show that had a brief run in the early '40s, produced in Oklahoma City. All the episodes were written by one guy, a novelist (or so he said) named Scott Bishop. Maybe his novels were better.
    The problem with radio is that everything that happens has to be described. The problem with horror on radio is that it has to be described at the top of one's voice. The problem with low-budget horror radio is that it has to be described at the top of his voice by one of the characters, since who can afford a narrator? "Oh NO! You have a knife! You're coming at me with the knife! Please don't stab me with the knife! Oh no!"
    Or in Scott Bishop's case, a demented and disembodied (distrunked?) tree branch comes after somebody and pushes her down an elevator shaft. In another episode, a mad scientist kidnaps an opera singer and puts his vocal chords in a gorilla and trains the gorilla to sing opera. (And to talk and to fly a plane.) So he could make a fortune from his opera-singing gorilla. And when his gorilla starts singing less well, he shoots him. As if people would only pay to see a gorilla who sings opera REALLY WELL! I gotta go find this guy's novels! As a longtime Mystery Science 3000 fan, this stuff is catnip to me.