I think I may have mastered shepherd's pie

    Anyway, I no longer feel like calling it vegan shepherd's pie, even though it still is. I think of it as just shepherd's pie (even if it isn't).
    However, I don't feel like writing the recipe any more than I did the first time, so I'll just repost the previous blithering, except with edits. The big change is that I finally got over trying to do this with black lentils. Once, making fake meat out of them worked; since then, they always come out like black lentils. Whole Foods gives exactly the same directions on their red and black lentil packages, but there's definitely a difference. Unfortunately, I can't figure out what it is.
    OK, to call this a recipe would (Edit: still) be romancing, but how I make this is roughly as follows. Cut up a large potato; throw in a large pan with turmeric, salt, pepper, EV olive oil and just enough filtered water to cover. Put on medium heat.
    In a small saucepan also on medium heat, bring to boil a cup of filtered water. Wash and strain a half cup of red lentils; when water is boiling, dump lentils in, along with cloves, cumin, salt and pepper. This is a change; before I put every spice imaginable (to me at least) in at this point. However, I found that most wound up sticking to the (allegedly non-stick) pot. More anon.
    While that was coming to a boil would have been a good time to put a LOT of water in a large pan. (I use filtered water here, too, but then I live somewhere where they think that they haven't purified the water unless they put ALL the chlorine in it) and put it on medium heat as well. In a steamer insert, put in kale, collards or both (or whatever green leafy floats your boat) two cut-up carrots, okra, and really whatever occurs to you. Steam 'em until you get bored. Lately, I go with okra, a small turnip, one carrot, frozen broccoli florets cut up (a nice workout for my new ceramic knife) and kale.
    About now, your potatoes are probably boiling pretty joyously. Turn them down such that they keep simmering. I find that enough water to cover is too much to make mashed potatoes, so I tend to leave the lid off for long periods; it's worked well so far. Maybe eventually I'll get around to measuring lengths of time and whatnot.
    Oh crap, the lentils! You turned down the lentils, right? Once you have all the spices in, turn down the lentils to medium-low (or 2 on this range) and let them go wild for a half hour. Then add 1/4 cup of organic yellow corn grits. Theoretically, you should stir constantly at the same heat for 5 minutes, but I always find the stuff is just sticking to the pot and usually bail once the grits and lentils are mixed.. This is also a good time to turn on the oven at 350 degrees.
    Then is the crazy part. Put parchment paper down in a pan; shovel your lentil/grits mixture in. Flatten it a bit and put in the oven for 20 minutes. Your vegetables should be as steamed as anyone ever needs. Your potato should be mashable. Turn off the former and do the latter with a fork. I also slip in a tiny bit of crushed garlic, bought in a jar from Trader Joe's. It's much too strong, but I persevere. (Explains the tiny amount, though.)
    While your lentil mess is baking, I guess, cut up a sweet onion. Coat a frying pan or skillet with EV olive oil, put frozen mushrooms of whatever quantity you choose and the onion in the pan which you have already put on medium heat, right? Once you hear cracking and popping, however, turn it all the way to low, cover, and let sautee or simmer for ten minutes.
    These days, I remove the onions and mushrooms with a slotted spatula to the pan of baking, and the steamed vegetables, too. When your lentil mess comes out of the oven, slash it up into small chunks (size does not matter, just this once, turn your frying pan up to medium and dump the stuff into the onion and mushroom juice. Cook on one side for four minutes and on the other for three. Meanwhile, jump the oven up to 400 degrees.
    Much to my surprise, I got all this stuff into a 7 X 11 baking pan. I mix all the non mashed potatoes ingredients up. I put ginger, allspice, nutmeg, Crystal hot sauce, Tabasco sauce and Pickapeppa sauce as a middle layer of flavor. Then I put your mashed potatoes on top. Bake for 15 minutes and voila: shepherd's pie that can be eaten by a vegan. I live on this stuff!