Sunday, May 8, 2011

Brain damage

    Someone long important in my life suffers from polycystic ovary syndrome, a fact I wouldn't mention except the phrase has lately been stuck in my head all. the. time. And the reason for this is an odd sort of brain damage I have where my brain pointlessly but consistently switches words. Last year, when I had vertigo, my brain helpfully supplied the word "inertia" every time I tried to talk about or even think about vertigo. Going much further back, my brain has always switched the words "orange" and "green." I'm not color-blind, but apparently my speech center is.
    The word my brain is refusing to supply when it comes up with PCOS is... is... What's that word again? Vasoconstrictor! (Think "boa," John.) Owing to certain doubleplusungood feelings coming up lately, I've been amping up my avocado consumption in the past week or so. Avocado, as I've mentioned before, is a vasoconstrictor, meaning that it cuts down circulation. I think it explains the cramps I get in my forearms and calves. I think it explains the word switching, at least the ones more recent than "orange" and "green." I think what I have here is an avocado overdose, silly as it may sound.
    So I'm going back to my original idea of balancing the vasoconstrictor (avocado) with a vasodilator (cucumber). I did it yesterday, and my arm cramps magically vanished. See? Finding your way to health is fun and easy. This only took me, what? 49 years?

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