I'd hardly like to imply nor even to let anyone infer that I'm happy or relieved that my dad has died. I'm just as cut up about it as you'd think, and likely will continue to be for a long, long time. However, I've been living in neverending crisis mode for more than 3 1/2 years. There is therefore a physiological reaction of relief that that's over, no matter how sad the reason why it's over. And that's one of the things I'm going through now. Also I can go out at night without worrying. And I can cook for other people without worrying that then I'll run out of food and have to take out time that I don't have to cook again. Etc. etc. etc. Which may not actually be nicerly, but I hope that it's relatively clear.
We had another lovely day today, by and large, and I took another long walk. It didn't start out entirely nice, though, since Harry the cat stayed out all night in the freeze and didn't come back until the morning had nearly worn away. But he seemed little the worse for wear and is already out gallivanting again. Fortunately it wasn't a very bad freeze and as my brother points out, Harry has a nice fur coat. I was very glad to see him come home nevertheless.
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