Alleged cookies

    The problem was that quinoa is very healthful, but not very flavorful. The secondary problem was that quinoa flakes, which cook much faster, taste actively bad. Not very bad, but not very good. The part of my brain that does flavors said, "Needs peanut butter!" Thus this recipe:

Stuff:
3/4 cup almond milk
1/3 cup quinoa flakes
1 oz cocoa butter chunks OR 1T cocoa
1/4 cup honey
1/2 cup peanut butter
1 tsp vanilla
1 T of chia seeds blended with 3 T water OR 1 egg

Preheat oven to 350.
    I followed the package directions for cooking the quinoa flakes except for substituting almond milk for water and reducing the amount. I also threw cocoa butter chunks in to let them liquify. (The reason for reducing the amount of fluid, apart from keeping the cookie dough from getting runny, was with the hope that the melted cocoa butter might be absorbed.)
    So, bring almond milk to a boil. If you don't have cocoa butter and if you aren't avoiding caffeine like me, you can always substitute baking cocoa. Add quinoa flakes, bring back to a boil and cook for 90 seconds, stirring frequently.
    In a mixing bowl, mix all the ingredients. I've been using chia seed paste in lieu of eggs, not because I'm going vegan or anything but because they're supposed to be even better at holding baked goods together than eggs. Also they don't get sulfury if they get overcooked. As chia seeds are crazy expensive (like the cocoa butter), I won't judge you if you just use an egg (like the baking cocoa).
    So far I haven't found a blender that can handle a quantity as small as 4 tablespoons. So I have to use 2 T of chia seeds and 6 T of water, then half the result. Unfortunately, this time around, I accidentally murdered the blender, so my cookies had no chia seeds to hold them together. As a result, they didn't hold together too well. But they were pretty good.
    I had no notion whether these would work out, so as I usually do in that circumstance, I just made a gigantic pancake on parchment paper on my pizza pan. I cooked one side for 15 minutes, flipped it as best I could, and cooked the other side for 10 minutes.
    The problem with cocoa butter is still that it's liquid when hot and solid when cold. This is to say that much of it ends up on the parchment paper. So I wound up putting the whole pizza pan in the freezer for 20 minutes to try to get the stuff solidified. Then I broke the pancake into pieces.
    One suspects that even without the egg or chia seeds, these would make good mini-muffins, though a lot of cocoa butter would probably wind up suffusing the muffin tin liners. Also, they're very rich; maybe the chia seed paste would bring that down a bit. I'll certainly try again.