Failing to jump out of my skin

    For a while there, I was using Publix brand body wash that came in a really big bottle. A bottle that was actually too big for the shelf it was sitting on in the shower/ bathtub space. Not surprisingly, it was also heavy. Not surprisingly, I knocked it down with a fair degree of frequency. When I did, it made an enormous WHUMP sound. And when it did, I almost invariably was standing on one foot, in a soapy shower, soaping up the other leg.
    When you hear a gigantic WHUMP behind you, you can be expected to jump out of your skin, and I was certainly inclined to. However, in a soapy shower, standing on one leg, it would be pretty dangerous to jump anywhere at all. I don't think in the split second available to me, my brain consciously went through the possibilities and thought, "Oh, big body lotion bottle. Nothing to worry about." But somehow, it did seem to figure out that it's just too dangerous to jump right now, so we'll sort out what the stupid noise was later. I really did jump out of my skin in my head. (OK, you can query the use of "really" here; perhaps I should say simply that I was sufficiently startled to jump out of my skin, but didn't.) I dunno; I just thought it was cool each time it happened, which was several times.
    Eventually, the ants that overrun my bathroom every day or so decided that they LOVE that body wash, so I looked at the ingredients. I didn't see anything particularly ant attractive unless they dig soybean oil. However, I myself don't dig soybean oil. Even though I don't exactly lick my hands, I still would rather not have it on my body. So I switched to another brand which also uses smaller bottles. So jumping out of my skin in my head should be a thing of the past. One hopes.