Attitude

    Some time in the '80s I got fed up with attitude, particularly in advertising. Mr. Denis Leary started his career brilliantly, because he was clearly spoofing the entire attitude-centered youth culture then prevalent on the programming of his employers, MTV. However in the years between then and now, he has become what he was parodying, a one-man cottage industry of attitude. But he's just one man. In my TV-watching years, I saw ads with old people with attitude, babies with attitude, cows with attitude, puppies with attitude (wait; that was Scrappy Doo) and of course, impotence with attitude. It's. just. tiresome. It's as fun as hanging out with sarcastic 15-year-olds, which wasn't fun when we were sarcastic 15-year olds. If anything, it's getting worse.
    Lately I listen to a great deal of old-time radio. Some of the shows leave the ads in. Currently, I'm listening to a terrific series called "Suspense." It was sponsored primarily by an outfit out of Fresno called Roma Wines, then apparently the most popular wine in the country. They went out of business ages ago; the fact that Fresno mainly is famous for raisins these days suggests that they may not have been the finest. But their ads were so warm and friendly that I always find myself wishing I could go get me some Roma wine-- and I don't even drink wine.
    I think companies wishing to advertise need to learn from the older ads. Rule 1: Say the product name a lot. Rule 2: Convey a warm and friendly presence. Rule 3: Don't piss off potential customers. It's Rule 3 that I think they're having trouble with, and don't even know or care. I think I'll take a page from Mr. Leary's book: I'm coming knock, knock, knockin'. And when you open up, I'm going to be NICE.