Vacoom

    (Subject line comes from a series of Friskies (I think) commercials a couple of people sent to me. Possibly they were online only, I wouldn't know. In them, the old cat is explaining to the kitten about life. In one, he tells of the vacoom: "It eats and yells at the same time." Pretty funny. Also true.)
    I searched "quietest vacuum" and found out pretty quickly that the Roomba, which I had been coveting, is pretty universally panned. This was OK with me; I wasn't coveting it all that much. What I wanted was a quiet vacuum, but one that I didn't have to get everything off the floor for all the time. The kitties need their junk on the floor after all.
    I found a Consumer Reports article from 2010. It named a number of high-price vacuums, but also noted that Kenmore from Sears had a couple that were only moderately insanely priced. Oh that's right; I blithered about this the other day. So I went to Sears.
    Short version is that the one they recommended most strongly, which was almost as good as the insanely expensive models, was on the floor in the clearance area. From $600, it was marked down to $300. (It was actually marked down further; I got it for $260 including tax and bags.) The purchase was an adventure. The elderly sales clerk, who sounded like '60s character actor John Fiedler, was nervous as a deacon in a cathouse. However, he did demonstrate the model for me and showed me how to use its many features. Then he forgot to unplug it. Then he couldn't work the cash register because I swiped my card prematurely. Then he taped the attachment part to the canister when applying the Sears tape that showed that I wasn't shoplifting the vacuum. ("You SAID 'clearance'!") But we got the job done.
    He suggested I carry the attachment and let the canister roll behind, which was very, very funny since it followed like a little dog, which is to say erratically. Once I was out of his view, I just carried the whole thing; I'm all for looking like an idiot, but in moderation. Anyway, now I have a new toy.
    I haven't actually tried it out yet. He demonstrated it and it was certainly quieter than my old one, though not anything one could mistake for quiet. I hope Amelia at least hates and fears it less. And I hope it works better. I've already heard that I'm crazy for spending this much ("You need a girlfriend!" though I have no idea what this means) but apparently it's true that black cats are more allergenic than white ones. My eyes and Amelia's are worse since Harry started being around even though he's short-haired and not fluffy at all. Hopefully the new one will make the situation better, or be quiet enough that I can vacuum oftener. We will see.