No, not you! I was out hiking Congaree National Park due to dry trail conditions and few mosquitoes and also the whole it isn't 150,000 degrees outside yet thing and saw a Carolina anole. I got out my phone and clicked on the icon to open the camera app. Unfortunately, the phone chose to interpret this as a sweep towards the right, which instead opens Android's useless and unwanted and can't be deleted newsmagazine app. So I said a rude word very very loudly. Unfortunately, I had recently passed a young woman also hiking alone on the trail. It would be a better story if she came up at that moment and slapped me or said "My word!" or fainted or something, but I don't know if she even heard. (I had been moving pretty fast.) I did say, "Sorry," just to be on the safe side, though.
More worryingly, it should have spooked the anole, which would have been my just desserts, but it did not. I got a reasonably good picture when the right app finally opened. Apparently, I wasn't on the No Cussin' trail. I had a really wonderful hike, pressing myself because I had forgotten to defrost the chicken thigh I planned to cook for supper. So far, it appears that I made it back in time to defrost it properly the quick way anyway. (You don't want to know what that is.) If you don't see me again, you'll know that salmonella doesn't have a sense of humor.