I think I have figured out why I defend my solitude so ferociously. Or rather, why whenever anyone starts to draw close I tend to push them away. I don't think that it has anything to do with any particular preference for solitude. Nor do I think it's exactly an fear of intimacy.
I think that because of how and why the last relationship ended, I'm scared to death of anyone finding out just how freaking weird I am. Which is funny since I broadcast how freaking weird I am every day on this blog. But the day-to-day oddness of living gluten- casein- and soy-free really does set one far, far apart. Before I changed my diet, I often felt so depressed that it was like I was from another planet. Now because of diet, I'm starting to suspect that I might be.
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