Certified

    Back in the late '70s or early '80s, auto dealers decided that used car salesmen had a bad reputation. I don't know how it took this long for them to notice this, as the dishonest used car dealer had been a stock character in fiction, TV and movies for as long as the occupation had existed, but that's just another thing I'll never understand. So there was a push to rename the field.
    For about five minutes, dealers sold "previously owned" cars. This has a lot of syllables and is hard to fit on a sign, but at least it's correct. Since then though, it's been "pre-owned." This is insane on its face and makes me in turn insane on my face. Honda dealers, for example, invariably advertise certified pre-owned cars. I... can't go through with it. I would otherwise march right in and buy a used Honda, but I just can't. I'll buy one off a used car lot first, no matter how dishonest.
    So what's needed is a better adjective. Where I live, "certified born-again" ought to be a winner, but most likely folks would be offended. This morning, I thought I had it: "certified restored." But that latter word already has a meaning in the field and people would expect the car to be freshly repainted, which they almost never are. Reborn or Renewed sound good to me, although again people might want fresh paint. "Broken in"? No. "Previously driven"? No. If they want to sell to me, I think they should go with Used But Not Used Up. I don't think they need the "certified." Who's doing the certifying? Their mechanics? I've SEEN their mechanics. I think they should embrace the used car ethos, put everybody in loud plaid jackets and run with it. WHO'S WITH ME?!