Monday, April 11, 2016

Dear Penthouse Forum

    Dear Penthouse Forum, I never thought it would happen to me. I met a woman, extremely attractive and intelligent and charming and funny, and she likes me. We're totally compatible: emotionally, physically, musically, culturally and sexually-- not that you'd be interested in that. I didn't have any point in particular; I just wanted to gloat. Isn't that what your publication is for?
    No, seriously (not that any of the above is untrue), this is about the guy down the street who wrote a novel. And he wanted me to read it and give it a review on Amazon. So I did the first but not the second. I told him two things: that the entire book read like a letter to Penthouse Forum; and that more importantly, while it was competently staged, what pissed me off was that I got to the last two paragraphs and THERE was the kernel for an interesting novel of ideas. Or a novel of interesting ideas, preferably. And I ran into him the other day and he had actually listened. He thought about it for months and now he's rewriting his novel along the lines I suggested. Now mind you it may turn out a Letter To Penthouse Forum Of Ideas. But still.

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